What if..

Wouldn't it be nice if you could just flip a switch in you that determined who you liked, who you didn't, who you loved, and who you didn't? Wouldn't it make life simpler if you could force yourself to like/love whomever you willed yourself to like/love? There would be no such thing as disappointment, heartbreak, pain.. you could just simply "turn it off". Turn off your feelings for someone unattainable and turn them on for someone else. Although, this idea seems nice.. it's a selfish thought. It's the avoidance of pain. It's the avoidance of heartbreak. It doesn't allow you to genuinely feel. If there was such a thing as "a switch", I would be tempted to turn it on and off but I'm glad that I'm not faced with that temptation. I want to be able to feel..everything. The heartbreak, the pain, the loss, the grief, the bad, and the rock bottoms. By being able to feel these things, I'm able to also feel the opposite; love, pleasure, hope, good, and pure bliss. I don't want to fall in love with someone because I have to force myself. I want it to be effortless. I want to wake up one day and realize that I've fallen in love with him. I want to be head over heels in love; not the mediocre oh, I think I might love him kind of love. I want it all. So no, I would not have it any other way. I want to feel.