I'm doing just fine.

Hey you,

So another one bites the dust and that's okay. You are okay. You are fine. Thank him for the memories. Thank him for the lessons. You're that much closer to finding out what you truly want. It never hurts less but you always learn more. Not just about yourself, but about others. You deserve to move on. You deserve true happiness. So thank him for showing you how to open up. Don't crawl back into your hole. Explore.

Cycles

It's weird.
I'll have really good days
Then,
Really bad days
And sometimes they rotate in hours.
I seem to have really high, highs
But then really low, lows.
I always,
Somehow,
Eventually,
Crash,
And burn.
I'm tired of it.
Why can't I beat this cycle.
I just want to be happy
Every minute,
Of every day.

When?

At what point is an ex no longer referred to as an "ex" but rather a "friend"?
Do you just stop considering someone an ex because an x amount of time has passed?
Or you don't think your relationship was significant enough to count anymore?
Or the number of exes is starting to get embarrassing so you decide to cut down by cutting out some exes?
All the above.

Butterfly burst! (DIY)

So, remember when I said I was working on a new project? Well, here it is! The final product.

Pretty easy project.. just time consuming to cut all the butterflies. (Took about 6-7 hours for the whole project)

All you need are a big canvas, some paper, scissors, glue and butterfly templates.

Trace, then cut the butterflies (different sizes), lay out how you want it to look and glue those suckers on.
DONE!

Here are some more pictures of angles.. you'll notice I don't glue the whole butterfly but just the body of the butterfly and fold the wings a bit to make it 3D-ish

Feeling artsy.

Recently, I've been getting back in touch with my creative side. I've been drawing, scribbling, doodling, and experimenting with water colours. I find it so relaxing, sitting in silence, being artsy. I have a new project now that I'm working on. I'm still deciding whether or not I want to do a post on it (like a step-by-step DIY) or maybe a video capture of the process.. we shall see. Stay tuned!

* Sneak peek for those hungry, curious souls. Can you guess what I'm up to?

My book

I have tried to write a novel for some time now. However, I haven't quite been able to finish it or really start it. I have (maybe) a chapter done but there's so much editing to be done still within that one chapter. I really want to start working on it in full gear so that I can hopefully get it published within the year or so. I think I still need to do a bit of research though about the publishing process. I should worry about that afterwards though, I think. I need to write something first before I can publish it. Wish me luck.

For the broken.

We've all been there at one point
And if not, your time will come..
We have all been hurt
By someone
Or a few someones..
We have all experienced pain
We have all been disappointed
Crushed, stabbed, and stepped on
We know how it feels to be disappointed by someone
We all know that we've disappointed someone
Or a few someones
At one point or another
We have been broken
We might still be broken
But, hope is always on the horizon
Even if just a slight glimmer
We may be broken now
But, we are strong
We will get up each day
Okay, maybe not every day
But, we will rise
We will slowly learn to love ourselves again
We will find love in another
We will move on
We will grow
And maybe we'll break again
But being broken does not mean we are damaged
It means we are strong enough to be open
Strong enough to let others in
Strong enough to love
And be loved
Strong enough to risk being broken again
To be broken, is beautiful
Embrace it
Cherish it
The reward is worth the risk.

Long road ahead

The summer for me has just begun, which means, work and lots of it.
I'm already tired.
I can feel that it's going to be a long, hot, torturous summer.
Good luck.

Dance

We're just sitting here
Staring at each other
Both stubborn
Unwilling to break the silence
Unwilling to crack first
You sneak a glance
I stare off
You look away
I look at you back
We're stuck dancing with the wind

Expections

I want someone who will comfort me
Hold me
Cradle me
Let me lean on them
I want someone who will whisper kind words into my ears
Someone whom will love my soul
No matter how broken it is
No matter how sad and dark it gets
I want someone to be my light
Someone to guide me
But also someone that will let me lead
I want someone who will love my good days
As well as my bad days
I want someone that will try to fix things
Even when they seem broken beyond repair
Someone who believes
That it's worth it
That we're worth it
I want someone that will apologize when they're wrong
That will always tell me they love me
Even on our worst days
Because that's when I need to hear it the most
I want someone that can't stay mad at me
Someone who can't stand the thought of not talking to me
Someone who misses me
And tells me when they do
I want to be somebody's love
Somebody's forever
Somebody's always
Is that too much to ask?

Do you?

Do you love me?
Show it.
Prove it to me.
Show me in your actions.
Show me in your words.
Let me into your thoughts.
Inhale my scent.
In
And out.
Am I a piece of you?
Do I course through your veins?
Do you feel me in the wind?
Am I your security?
Your safe haven?
Do you love me yet?
Could you?
I could love you..
I maybe already do..
Maybe I always have
Maybe I always will
Do you?

Boundaries

Surround myself
With an invisible wall
I wish I could make real
Some people
Just don't know
How to respect
Boundaries.

The Irony.

Love.
I know I write about it a lot.
Or more so, the consequence of it.
Pain.
I have a love/hate relationship with it.
On the one hand, I'm completely obsessed.
Consumed by the constant thought of it.
Like the air I breathe in.
Like the blood through my veins.
I need it.
I love it.
Then, there's this other side.
The part of me that wants to push it away.
The one that feels trapped.
The one that can't breathe.
That can't feel the pulse.
My pulse.
A constant battle between the two.
A constant shift in moods.
I don't know whether I should be happy with it
Or stop while I'm still whole
And not broken.
I love, love.
Yet, I hate love.

Wall of sadness

I don't know why I go through time periods when I don't feel like myself. I am emotional, irrational, and completely insane. I don't know how I feel or why I feel the way I do.. It's like I'm consumed by all the terrible emotions imaginable and they just surround me and engulf me like a hurricane. Maybe it's stress, maybe it's hormones, maybe it's something more. What if they're emotions that I've buried deep inside of me that, from time to time, escape and explode into this hot mess. Why does it consume me like this? Why does it become so unbearable that I lay here quietly while the tears stream down my cheeks? Why can't I be strong, fight back these tears and just smile?

Back to it..

Hello! It's been a while. I guess blogging about food or anything relevant is not my forté..So back to random ramblings about my life. I recently learned how to skate backwards and I am quite proud of myself for that (especially since I taught myself). I feel like I should try to make it a goal to try and learn something new every month (because a new thing every week would be too much of a commitment and I am terrible at commitments). We shall see how that goes.. To be honest, I'm pretty sure it'll end up being like 1 thing every 6 months at the most.. Regardless, I'll try to find things to learn. Perhaps that cup song from the movie Pitch Perfect.. that seems reasonable enough.