You Are Amazing

I know I haven`t updated in a while and so that is why I decided that I needed to update! So much shopping in the past three days omg. I`ve broken the bank T__T but it`s okay I think it was all worth it. I don`t even remember half of the things I bought but they`re bound to pop up sooner or later.. Although the best gift wouldn`t be anything I could buy.. the best gift to me was when my super close friend decided to tell me she was going to support my vegetarianness by becoming one herself (: I was quite shocked.. and still am.. because she loves chicken haha. We were supposed to do christmas exchanges but she didn`t buy my gift yet but I gave her hers and she LOVED it (: I got her a zippo lighter with volcom engraved on it. I feel that i`m just ranting now so i`ll end it off there. I love her to death and we are two opposites but we really are great together (no homo) Oh and also we actually went bra and underwear shopping lmao.. we usually don`t do that because it`s awkward but we`ve definitely hit a new level in our friendship. love you forever and thank you for being there for me ♡

Would Have Been..

Today would have been 9 months. Today would have been when we`d say happy nine months. Today would have been, but isn`t. I asked someone what the date was today.. And I sorta cringed when they told me. Today I wrote a test and didn`t want to write the date. Today would have been a celebratory day but it wasn`t. I miss it and i`m not even afraid to admit I miss him. But hey, today my horoscope said not to fight fate and just smile with what I have now. My friends say I look happier, could it be I am? Today would have been but isn`t and i`m okay.

I Won`t Give Up

Today, I`m stronger. I`m learning from my experiences. I`m coming to terms with many things. Is it making me happier? Sort of. Is it making me a better person? Sort of. Am I fighting on? Definitely. There are those people that will bring you down, try to break you, try to tear you apart, but look on the upside.. there are way more good people in the world than bad. There are way more people pushing you to become a better person, a stronger person, an independent person rather than striking you down, criticizing everything you do and driving you to the ground. I won`t give up because I know there are those that believe in me. Although at times it can be so fcuking tempting, I won`t give up, I won`t let it get the best of me. I`m strong. I`ll make it. I just know I CAN and I WILL.

Tell Me My Worth

What exactly makes someone worth a certain amount? Why are some people more valuable than others? Why can`t I be worth it to someone? I sat around the other day trying to figure this question out.. and I still couldn`t figure it out. I want to know how much I`m worth. I want to know the extent that someone will go through for me. I want to know my value. I look around and I see there are those that have it so good but yet they don`t appreciate it. They toss it aside as if it were nothing. Why should those who don`t appreciate it, be granted, be so lucky as to have it? What will it take before someone cares enough about me to stick with me until the end? What will it take for me to be loved forever? When will I be worth all the fights, hard moments, and obstacles? Tell me, when will I find that person who will see me as Priceless instead of Worthless? Wait, I know who I am. I know what I deserve. One day, I will find someone who thinks the same but for now, I have myself. I don`t need you. I`m perfectly fine on my own because I know what I`m worth.

Heartbreak

This year, I went through two heartbreaks. I think that`s plenty to last me a lifetime. The first one? Not so bad.. we just dealt I guess. The second one? Still hurts. I thought we had it all. He was everything to me. I`m not really someone who has a lot of long term relationships, they usually last a few months or so and I get bored and move on. However, he was different or at least I thought he was... We spent so much time together, yet it was still not enough for me. I cared care about him so much. Why did it have to end? Why did my world shatter? The works of fate I suppose. Fate`s a funny thing, it tore me from one of the people I truly loved. Have you ever heard the expression, "If you love someone, let them go and if they come back, then it was meant to be? That`s what I believe. It still hurts though of course, but there`s nothing left for me to do. Time heals all.

A Fresh Start

Hello everyone !

My self appointed best friend told me to start a blog, so I thought about it and I`ve recently decided to change the way I view the world and thought I needed a fresh
clean start. So here I am and here you`ll find, my rants and of course random life experiences. My good times, my bad times, my way ups and rock bottoms. I`ll pour my heart and soul o u t.