I Can`t

I can`t do this anymore, I won`t. All this time I`ve been letting you take over my thoughts, take over my emotions, take over my life. You don`t deserve it, any of it. You don`t deserve my time, my efforts, my emotions, my affection, my self, my heart, nor my soul. I won`t let you take over my thoughts any more and I won`t miss you. I won`t mope around hoping you`ll come back to me, I just can`t. I can`t stand the memories, the constant reminders, the constant questions that rush through my mind. I can`t stay in this circle anymore and I won`t. I`m finding my way out and I won`t turn back. I`m tired of you. I hate the way that I`ve lowered myself so much just so that you can sit on your pedastal. I'm sick and tired of it. I want to forgive you, I really do..but I don`t know if I can. Maybe some time from now but the future is everchanging and I feel myself changing. I`m learning, I`m growing up, I`m maturing. I`m walking away and I`m not looking back. It`s time to move on and start a new chapter. Maybe one day you`ll realize what a mistake it was and maybe one day you`ll regret it. But this is my now, without you and you have your now, without me. You seem content and I`m happy for you. I just need to stop putting your happiness before mine. For once, I`m going to be selfish.